The Honour Attendant
Traditionally called the Maid of Honour or the Best Man, you are the right-hand person for this momentous occasion.
During the planning
• Number 1? Listen. Whether it’s about the honeymoon, the spouse-to-be or even endless musings on cake flavours and colour schemes, you’re the go-to set of ears and shoulder to cry on.
• Take responsibility for your side of the bridal party and delegate their pre-wedding and wedding-day tasks.
• Help your member of the couple shop for his or her attire and pick the co-ordinating bridal party outfits.
• Make sure your side of the bridal party gets to fittings and finds the right accessories.
• Be available to help with all those pre-wedding tasks, including addressing invites, choosing colours and decorations.
• If you’re acting for the bride, host or co-host a shower or a more non-traditional party for the bride or couple — think a cooking class or a charity-focused activity.
• Let guests know where the couple is registered.
• Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate another member of the bridal party to handle this).
• Plan a pre-wedding party with your side of the bridal party. It could be a separate bachelor/bachelorette blowout or a hybrid party for both — whatever the couple wants.
Before the wedding day
• Help arrange accommodations for any out-of-town members of the bridal party.
• See to it that your side of the bridal party gets to the rehearsal, and co-ordinate lodging, if necessary.
At the ceremony and reception
• Hold the ring during the ceremony. (If necessary, wear it on your thumb for safe-keeping.)
• If standing for the bride, help arrange her train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. You may need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception. Hold her bouquet while the couple exchanges vows.
• Sign the marriage licence as a witness.
• After the ceremony, give the officiant a sealed envelope with his or her fee (from the couple).
• Act as a host, along with the rest of the bridal party: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc.
• Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place.
• Make sure the couple takes a moment to eat something: refresh their drinks and bring them plates of food from the buffet line.
• Offer a toast to the couple.
• Last, but not least? Don’t let the couple get stressed out on the wedding day. You’re there to troubleshoot any crisis.
Attendants Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
During the planning
• Order and pay for formal wear.
• Be available to help with all those pre-wedding tasks, including addressing invites, choosing colours and decorations.
Before the wedding day
• Help plan and attend any pre-wedding parties and events, such as showers and the bachelor/bachelorette parites.
• Attend the rehearsal dinner.
At the ceremony and reception
• Groomsmen may be asked to seat guests for the ceremony.
• Serve as greeters at reception.
• “Decorate” the couple’s car or the vehicle being used to leave the reception.
Parents of the Bride
During the planning
• Help the couple look for ceremony and reception sites.
• Compile and submit names and addresses of your family and friends you would like included on the master guest list.
• A long-held tradition is for the mother of the bride to help choose the wedding dress.
• Help with family and cultural traditions and any heirlooms to be incorporated into the ceremony or reception.
Before the wedding day
• Attend the bridal shower.
• Attend the rehearsal dinner.
At the ceremony and reception
• Accompany the bride down the aisle.
• Stand in the receiving line to greet guests; if following tradition, the mother of the bride heads up the line, as reception host.
• Give a toast to welcome the new spouse into the family.
Parents of the Groom
During the planning
• Host a dinner to introduce the spouse-to-be to your side of the family.
• Help the couple look for ceremony and reception sites.
• Compile and submit names and addresses of your family and friends you would like included on the master guest list.
• Help with family and cultural traditions and any heirlooms to be incorporated into the ceremony or reception.
• Let guests know where the couple is registered.
• Offer to track down late RSVPs from anyone on your side of the invite list.
• Plan and host the rehearsal dinner, traditionally held the night before the wedding.
Before the wedding day
• Attend the bridal shower.
• Host the rehearsal dinner.
At the ceremony and reception
• Stand in the receiving line after the couple.
• Give a toast to welcome the new spouse into the family.
To read more about planning your day read YAM’s Special Wedding Feature: Modern Etiquette.