We all know that behind the picture-postcard perfection of the holidays lies a lot of hard work. But not if you follow YAM’s guide to making the season merry, bright and easy.
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the busyness of the holidays, the endless cycle of cooking-shopping-cleaning-decorating, the many social events, the pressure that always comes with hosting family and friends. But the truth is that only one thing really matters — spending time with the people you love.
So we’re here to say: Relax. Pour yourself a glass of wine, put your feet up and let us help you make this the best, most stress-free holiday ever. Here’s how.
Prioritize Planning
First, spend a little time making your list and checking it twice. Not your shopping list, or at least, not yet. Make a big ugly list of all the things you believe you need to attend, host and do over the holiday season. That includes the social events, gift shopping, cleaning, decorating, baking, hosting parties and house guests, and taking part in festive traditions like watching the IEOA Truck Parade or listening to Handel’s Messiah.
Which ones are essential? Which ones do you like to do? Which ones make you feel good about yourself? Which ones let you spend the most quality time with your family and friends?
Those should all go on your actual “to do” list. Schedule them into your calendar now.
Take another look at your big list. Are there some things you can ask someone else to do? Can you have something delivered rather than spend a couple of hours you don’t have shopping? Can you hire someone to take a chore off your hands? Then just do it.
Finally, look at what’s left and consider simply saying no. No to those after-work drinks, that last-minute event that conflicts with your annual Love Actually movie night, that expectation that you’ll be hosting again when your friends haven’t reciprocated in two years. No, too, to the ridiculous demands we put on ourselves, like making gifts from scratch when we already work a demanding full-time job.
We know that for many of us saying no is hard. We worry about letting people down or missing out on something fun. But the reality is that if you say yes to everything, you’re going to burn yourself out, and that’s not good for anyone.
Focus on Essentials
That said, there are still things that need to be done. The house needs to be decorated, the guests need to be fed, the gifts need to be bought and wrapped. For sure you’ll need to work those into your schedule, but maybe ease up on how intense you’re going to be about it.
For instance, if you plan to bake cookies, don’t feel you need to make a dozen different varieties. And don’t feel you need to make anything super fancy and complicated (unless, of course, you love doing it). Your guests will still be impressed if you make even one of our pastry-chef-approved recipes. Scratch that — they’ll be happy even if you just crack open a tin of those Belgian butter biscuits.
Same goes for decorating. If you love going all out with the holiday bling, by all means bring on the twinkly lights, the fancy seven-foot tree, the festive vignette in the powder room, the faux pine branches and ribbons wrapped around the balustrades. But you don’t have to. A simple wreath on the door and a garland on the mantelpiece is fine.
Finally, make sure to take some time for yourself. The holidays are meant to be a time to refresh, re-energize and reconnect with people. They should not add a full-time job to the work you already do.
Go for a walk. Hit the spa or sauna. Curl up with a good book. Sleep in. Order takeout.
You’ll be happier and so will the people who love you. And isn’t making people happy what the holidays are really about?
Outsource Everything
1 Cleaning the House
Having a clean house is satisfying. Getting it that way isn’t always as much fun. Victoria has several cleaning services that will do the job — check with the Better Business Bureau to make sure the one you’re interested in is legit. Meanwhile, housekeeper.com is an online service that can connect you to the kind of cleaner you need, whether it’s a one-time thing, a regular gig or even a job for a rental property.
The idea of making everything from scratch is a lovely one, but with our busy lives it’s often just not realistic. So stop putting the pressure on yourself. Do the things you love and outsource everything else, starting with the items on this list. Just beware that in most cases you need to book at least a few weeks ahead, so don’t leave it to the last minute.
2 Wrapping the Gifts
Each year starting at the beginning of December, The Mustard Seed Church offers a gift-wrapping service by donation, typically at Hillside and/or Mayfair Shopping Centre. Visit mustardseed.ca/gift-wrap for this year’s details. It’s a great way to offload a chore while also helping those who need it most.
3 Stocking Up on Food and Drink
Heading to the grocery store on a December Saturday afternoon can be a lot. If stress levels are already high, there’s nothing like a jammed parking lot to push them right over the edge. Luckily, most major grocers now have pickup and delivery services, including Thrifty Foods, Save-On-Foods, Whole Foods Market and The Market Stores. Some even offer same-day delivery, although that might be less readily available during the busy holiday season.
Similarly, you can get your wine, beer and spirits delivered by private retailers such as Cascadia Liquor, Liquor Plus, The Strath Ale, Wine and Spirit Merchants, and Vessel Liquor Store. Or you can order cases of wine directly from B.C. wineries and support an industry that could use your help.
Our best advice: Whether you are ordering food or drink, stock up on as much as you can ahead of time so you don’t need to worry about things running out.
4 Putting Up the Lights
Who doesn’t love a dazzling light display? But putting up outdoor lights can be tricky, time-consuming and treacherous, especially if it’s dark or the weather is unpredictable, as it often is at this time of year. This is one time it’s good to call in the experts. In Victoria, try: Gorilla Property Services, Lush, Light Right Outdoor Lighting, FestiLight, We Hang Christmas Lights. Note that you can also install permanent lights that can change colour with the season or event.
5 Cooking the Big Dinner
We love to cook, but we’ll admit that prepping the big feast can be a bit of a grind. That’s why we’re so happy the takeout turkey dinner has become a thing. Q at the Fairmont Empress is famous for their luxe feast. Jones Bar-B-Que’s smoked turkey breast and confit turkey leg dinners are so popular they’ve had to double production. Whole Foods has a wide choice of turkey, ham, prime rib or vegetarian meals. Roast, Marriott Victoria Inner Harbour, Heron Rock Bistro and many catering companies also offer holiday meals to go.
… Or Just Part of It
OK, maybe you love roasting turkey but hate making appies and don’t have the patience for baking. Do the parts you enjoy and have someone else do the rest. Consider hosting a potluck or purchasing part of the meal, like fancy cheese and crackers from your favourite gourmet store, charcuterie (locally made by The Whole Beast, Pickles’ Pantry or Haus Sausage), smoked seafood or chowder (from Finest at Sea), tourtière or appetizer sausage rolls (from Saltchuck Pie Company) and, of course, baked goods from The Dutch Bakery, Crust, GoodSide Pastry House or whoever makes the sweets you love best.
A Real Gift Guide
Even for those of us who love shopping for gifts and pride ourselves on our thoughtful choices, it can be a challenge finding, wrapping and mailing all the right gifts for all the right people. Here’s how to simplify it.
- Give yourself plenty of time. The sooner you get started on planning, shopping and wrapping, the better, especially if you are ordering gifts online or mailing them abroad. For guidelines on when to send cards and packages, visit canadapost-postescanada.ca.
- Plan ahead. Do not, we repeat, DO NOT go into that shopping mall without a list of all your recipients and at least some idea of what you plan to get for them. Better yet, pay attention to what they want (ask them if necessary) and keep a running list of gift ideas throughout the year.
- There’s an app for that. Giftser lets you create public or private wish lists with links to the exact products you want, including details like size and price. The lists are shareable, easily updatable and will show if a gift has already been purchased..
- Be thoughtful. The best gifts aren’t the most expensive ones, they’re the personal ones that make the recipient feel seen. For instance, if you shared a memorable dinner at a local restaurant, you could pick up a gift card for a future meal or a jar of their famous hot sauce.
- Be thoughtful, part two. Food and drink are ideal gifts — they are caring, nourishing, designed to be consumed and are even more precious if they come from your kitchen. But be careful and consider whether the recipient has any allergies, aversions or cultural dietary restrictions, especially when it comes to alcohol.
- Don’t forget the gift wrap! We love to pick a theme each year for our paper and ribbons. (For instance: sparkly silver and white snowflakes; glam forest green and gold; or homey red plaid with animal motifs.) Whatever you choose, stock up well in advance so you’re not running around at the last minute searching for one more spool of ribbon. And don’t forget the sticky tape, gift tags and, if you need to mail any parcels, packing paper.
- Money on your mind? If you have a lot of family and friends to buy for, consider setting a mutually agreed-upon price limit to keep costs under control or drawing names so everyone only has to buy a gift for one person.
- Choose experiences over stuff. Many of us have too many things as it is, so it might just be better to offer something fun to do, especially if it’s something you can share. Just a few ideas: a whale-watching excursion, pickleball lessons, concert tickets, sports season’s pass or membership in a museum or gallery.,
- Short on time? Gift cards are perfectly fine.
Thoughtful Ways to Share the Love
For those who are far from home or who have experienced a recent loss in their lives, the holidays can be a sad and lonely time. And people also struggle with this time of year for myriad other reasons that can range from financial worries to past traumas to time limitations.
If this sounds like someone you know, here’s how you can help:
1. Call, text, send a card or drop by to let them know you’re thinking about them. Be available if they need someone to talk to, but don’t pressure them to do so, and don’t be judgy if they share something you find uncomfortable.
2. If appropriate, invite them to join your celebrations, but be understanding if they decline.
3. If they can’t join you because they are caring for a child, senior or someone with health problems, find a way to work around their schedule so they can be included.
4. Bring them something they love, whether it’s their favourite celebrity magazine or some home-baked goodies.
5. Offer practical support if it’s needed, for instance, by helping a time-strapped friend decorate her house or walking a housebound neighbour’s dog.
If this is you:
1. Practice self care. Eat well, get lots of sleep and do something you love, whether it’s binge-watching your favourite TV show or booking a massage.
2. Reach out to a friend, neighbour or work colleague, even if it’s just for a quick coffee and catch-up.
3. If that seems like too much effort, connect with your social networks online.
4. Check out festive events around the city, many of which are free.
5. Help someone else by volunteering for a charitable cause. You may even make new friends there!